A deeply personal reflection on a significant life milestone, embracing newfound joy, and introducing a cherished feathered companion.
For quite some time now, I’ve felt a growing urge to share a more personal glimpse into my world, beyond the delicious recipes you’ve come to expect here. Today, it feels undeniably like the perfect moment to do so.
Exactly two weeks ago, I celebrated a truly significant milestone: my 50th birthday. Fifty! The number itself can sound daunting, almost impossibly “old” to me at times. Yet, as I reflect, I find myself brimming with an unexpected sense of excitement and profound gratitude.
After a period of gentle adjustment to this new decade, I can honestly say I believe this is not just another birthday, but the vibrant beginning of what promises to be the very best decade of my life. It’s a feeling of renewal, of stepping into a chapter filled with clarity, purpose, and genuine happiness that I once thought might be out of reach.
Table of Contents
- Reflecting on the Past: A Journey of Resilience
- A Major Life Transition: Finding My True North
- The Path to Finding Joy: Healing and New Beginnings
- Bertie the Birdie: My Feathered Friend and Constant Companion
- Why Share My Story? Connecting Beyond the Recipes
Reflecting on the Past: A Journey of Resilience
Looking back across the decades that have shaped me, I recall moments of immense joy and profound challenge. My early life was marked by the incredible blessing of being born in the United States to two parents whose love was boundless. Though material wealth may have been scarce, their unwavering affection provided a rich foundation that I carry with me to this day.
As I transitioned into young adulthood, life presented its customary complexities. I navigated personal traumas and, at a remarkably young age, ventured out on my own. This period of independence, while undeniably challenging, was also incredibly fulfilling, laying the groundwork for my nascent career and instilling a deep sense of self-reliance. I discovered a strength within myself that I hadn’t known existed, a quiet resilience that would prove invaluable in later years.
Many of you who have followed “Baking a Moment” for a considerable time may know that I initially pursued a career as an architect, dedicating many years to designing homes. It was a profession I deeply enjoyed, blending creativity with practicality. However, a pivotal moment arrived when I took a short leave to start a family. What followed was a dramatic shift, necessitated by the 2010 mortgage crisis, which unfortunately led to the loss of my position as a residential architectural designer and project manager. Suddenly, my established career path had vanished, leaving me at a crossroads.
With two babies in diapers and an uncertain future, I found myself facing the daunting task of reinventing my professional life. It was during this period that the seed for “Baking a Moment” was planted. Creating this website and navigating the intricate world of web publishing was far from easy. It was a slow, arduous uphill climb, demanding countless hours, relentless learning, and unwavering determination. I poured my heart and soul into building this platform, brick by virtual brick, hoping to carve out a new future for myself and my children.
Reflecting on my 30s and 40s, while undeniably blessed with a beautiful home and two healthy, energetic, and endlessly lovable boys, I must honestly admit that these decades were also a period of intense personal struggle. I grappled with pervasive self-doubt, feelings of shame, significant losses, profound loneliness, financial struggles, immense sacrifice, persistent confusion, and even chronic physical pain and deep sadness. These were not fleeting emotions but rather a persistent undercurrent that colored much of my experience.
I harbor no resentment towards anyone for these challenging times. They were simply an integral part of my unique life story, a chapter that shaped me in profound ways. Today, I actively work every day to embrace these experiences, holding them close to my heart as I do every other aspect of my life. They have taught me empathy, resilience, and the invaluable lesson that growth often emerges from our deepest valleys.
A Major Life Transition: Finding My True North
As my children entered elementary school, a beautiful new dimension unfolded in my life: I had the privilege of connecting with an extraordinary group of friends through our school system. These remarkable women and men offered me a sense of acceptance and unwavering support unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Their presence was a beacon of light during a particularly challenging time, and I am eternally grateful. Christina, Robyn, Kristy, Melissa, and Kelly – you know who you are, and please know that the impact you’ve had on my life is nothing short of transformative. You showed me what genuine connection and unconditional friendship truly mean.
Through their loving gaze and honest reflections, it became increasingly impossible for me to ignore the profound misalignment between the life I was living and my deepest, truest values. They didn’t just point out the discrepancies; they courageously walked alongside me, holding my hand through one of the most difficult and terrifying life changes I had ever undertaken. Their unwavering belief in me gave me the strength to confront uncomfortable truths and begin the daunting process of rebuilding.
You, my loyal readers, may have noticed a significant shift on this site. Starting in 2020, “Baking a Moment” went almost completely silent, remaining so (despite a few hopeful but ultimately unsuccessful attempts at restarting) until 2023. This hiatus wasn’t a choice I made lightly, but a necessity born from a seismic personal event.
I went through a divorce, and every single ounce of my energy, physical and emotional, was desperately needed for healing. My world, as I knew it, was rocked to its very core. For so long, my entire identity had been inextricably linked to being a wife, and suddenly, that foundational pillar was gone. I was utterly adrift, unsure of how I could possibly move forward, let alone continue with the demands of an online business.
Each morning, I would wake with the heavy knowledge that I had to resume posting recipes here, not just for passion, but for the fundamental need to financially support myself and my children. Yet, the emotional weight was too great; I simply couldn’t do it. I would go to bed each night, whispering “tomorrow” to myself, only for the cycle of paralyzing overwhelm and inaction to repeat itself, day after day, for nearly three long years. It was a period of profound exhaustion, heartbreak, and uncertainty.
The Path to Finding Joy: Healing and New Beginnings
Though the journey felt endless at times, the adage holds true: time does heal. But healing isn’t a passive process; it’s an active, deliberate reclamation of self, energy, and purpose. Initially, my body and mind demanded profound rest. I allowed myself to nap for hours each day, making up for years of sleep deprivation caused by crying babies, relentless 70+ hour workweeks, and anxious, sleepless nights. This period of deep rest was fundamental, allowing my nervous system to recalibrate and my spirit to begin its slow repair.
Once my own immediate needs for rest were somewhat met, my focus turned to the mental health of my children. I won’t sugarcoat it: divorce is incredibly hard on kids, regardless of how resilient experts claim they are. We navigated significant bumps in the road, faced scary crises, and are still very much on this journey. However, as they grow, I believe we are collectively learning and developing the right tools and strategies to cope, communicate, and support each other through these ongoing challenges.
Simultaneously, I needed to restore order to my home, which had, understandably, fallen into a state of neglect. There was a substantial backlog of repairs, maintenance tasks, and organization projects that demanded my attention. This wasn’t merely about physical upkeep; it was about transforming this house, which I had painstakingly worked to buy back from my ex-partner, into a space that felt truly mine, a sanctuary rather than a chaotic reminder of the past. Each nail hammered, each shelf organized, was a step towards reclaiming my environment and, by extension, myself.
During this intensely personal period of rebuilding, something truly beautiful blossomed: I found love again. And once more, as I write these words, I find myself welling up with emotion, just as I did when recalling the profound impact of my dear friends. The right people, my dearest readers, are truly everything. It is paramount to find those individuals who genuinely understand you, who accept you unconditionally, flaws and all. Seek out those who unselfishly desire the very best for you, above all else. This kind of pure, supportive connection has the power to turn everything around, to illuminate the darkest corners and rekindle hope.
And without wanting to tempt fate or “jinx” this precious new chapter, I believe I can finally, confidently say that I am in a truly good place. My heart is lighter, my spirit is more resilient, and my creative well feels replenished. This newfound stability and happiness are directly linked to my ability to return to “Baking a Moment” with renewed vigor. My hope is to continue providing you with the delicious, beautiful, and useful recipes you love, and to do so on a much more regular basis for many years to come. Your continued support means the world to me, and I look forward to sharing many more baking adventures with you.
Bertie the Birdie: My Feathered Friend and Constant Companion
For my most recent milestone birthday, a truly special and unexpected gift arrived: my significant other, Seth, gifted me a pet. This was not just any pet, but a companion who has brought an incredible amount of joy, laughter, and comfort into my daily life. It’s a testament to his understanding of my journey and my current needs.
Our relationship, while deeply loving and committed, operates on its own unique terms. We will not marry again; my past experiences have left scars that make that path unsuitable for me, and it is a mutual understanding we both share. Our respective homes are located a bit of a distance apart, yet we prioritize our time together, making sure to connect at least once a week, often more. While family ties currently keep us rooted where we are, preventing daily cohabitation, the working-from-home lifestyle can, at times, lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. This is where Bertie comes in.
For years, a traditional dog or cat has been out of the question due to my older son’s dander allergies. However, I inherited a deep love and appreciation for birds from my late father. I’ve always found immense peace and fascination in observing the wild birds that frequent the feeders and fountains in my beautiful backyard. Their vibrant colors, intricate songs, and graceful movements have always been a source of quiet contentment. This inherent connection to avian life made the idea of a pet bird particularly appealing.
And now, thanks to Seth’s thoughtful gift, I have Bertie to keep me company. Bertie, whose gender I will discover in about a week with a little DNA test, is a pineapple green-cheeked conure parrot, and an absolute, unadulterated delight. The tiny “merps,” sweet chirps, and sudden bursts of joyful cries fill the once-silent spaces of my home with life and warmth. Her affectionate nature is irresistible: she loves to nuzzle under my chin and eagerly accepts head and neck scratches, her feathers soft as down. And that comforting scent, a unique blend of wool and whole-wheat toast, simply makes my heart swell with affection.
Bertie is almost always perched on my shoulder or close by, a constant, comforting presence. She has quickly become my little bestie and an inseparable companion, bringing a unique form of love and interaction into my days. My hope is to share little bits and pieces of our life together every so often – her antics, her milestones, and the joy she brings. So, keep your eyes open for more Bertie updates here on the blog, as well as on my social media channels, including Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. I believe these shared moments will add another layer of connection to our community.
Why Share My Story? Connecting Beyond the Recipes
I understand that an update as personal as this might not resonate with every visitor to “Baking a Moment.” Many come to this site with a specific transactional goal: they search online for a recipe, find the answer they need, and then move on. And that is perfectly fine; I am happy to provide that resource.
However, I also have a truly wonderful community of loyal followers who have noticed my long absence, and many have reached out with genuine concern and heartfelt inquiries. To them, I am profoundly grateful. They are more than just readers; they are a cherished part of this journey, and I feel they absolutely deserve an explanation for my silence, however belated it may be. This is my way of acknowledging their unwavering support and offering a glimpse into the reasons behind it all.
Beyond that, I am sharing this intensely personal story with the sincere hope that it might benefit someone else. It serves as a gentle reassurance that no matter how many pitfalls life throws our way, no matter how deep the valleys, giving up should never be an option. Life’s journey is often tumultuous, but resilience is a remarkable human trait.
It is genuinely possible to find self-acceptance, to rediscover your true identity, and to cultivate profound joy, even after experiencing immense hardship. However, this transformative process will most likely demand a significant investment of time, a generous measure of grace for yourself, deep and intentional healing, earnest self-reflection, an open and vulnerable heart, and perhaps even some truly scary, life-altering choices. I am here, standing before you, to tell you unequivocally that this has happened for me. And if it can happen for me, it can most certainly happen for you too.
Embrace the journey, trust the process, and never underestimate your own capacity for renewal, even if you find yourself celebrating a milestone birthday that feels older than you can possibly believe!
